THE DREW BARRYMORE DREAM

Let me tell you about a dream I started having late last Fall.
I was sitting at the top of a Ferris Wheel at a little carnival.
Drew Barrymore was in the seat with me,
She kissed me and she smiled, then she winked.
Then she levitated into the night sky...
I don't know why... I don't know why...

I always have the strangest dreams.
I think I'm crazy.
Am I lunatic or am I tripping daisies?

She's not quite Poison Ivy
When she rides in cars with boys.
And as I drift to sleep I wonder what she's doing.
Will she be visting or will she skip this one?
My re-occuring dreams unravel in the sun.

Am I a lunatic or am I tripping daisies?
Am I a lunatic or am I tripping daisies?


WE WERE ONCE FRIENDS

Come stab me in the back again.
I'll turn around and let you in.
It's hard to see your vicious eyes.
Surprise me with your newest lies.

We... were once... friends.

Drugs, disease and alibis.
Whiskey-soaked reptilian smile.
Close enough to grind and tear.
Coughing crimson in the air.

We... were once... friends.

You never left the place you stood.
But you've somehow gone Hollywood.
Amusement show - cartoonish creep.
Mountains of pills to help you sleep.

We... were once... friends.


FRANKENSTEIN

We'll be over in a little while...
With some Jaeger and two coolers full of beer.
We'll still be standing when the sun is coming up.
Pastey, pale and green, we stagger when we're stuck.

Crazy Matt will be on your living room floor.
And there will be vomit all over your bathroom door.
We'll control your stereo 'til 9 AM.
We'll play The Salt Miners and the Afghan Whigs.

And my mother always says -
I look just like Frankenstein,
When I'm drunk and out of my mind.

I am trying to persuade you.
To drink some more with me...
Pastey, pale and green.

Come along and I'll show you -
How to stagger when you step...
Electrodes in your neck.

And my mother always says -
I look just like Frankenstein,
When I'm drunk and out of my mind.

And I don't want to lose you.
I just want a drink or two.
No, I don't want to lose you.
I just want a drink or two.... or maybe ten.

And my mother always says -
I look just like Frankenstein,
When I'm drunk and out of my mind.


LOSING HEATHER

Misconnected. Misconnected connection.
I request new directions...
To your unknown obligation.

Behind the scenes frustration.
Said goodbye at graduation.
Never saw you again...
Wasn't Heather your friend?
Wasn't Heather your friend?

Read it in a local paper.
That's how bad news gets delivered.
Yeah- you think you'll live forever.
This old yearbook makes me shiver.

Misconnected connection.
I request new directions...
To your unknown obligation.
Wasn't Heather your friend?
Wasn't Heather your friend?


HALLOWEEN BABY

Your Daddy was a tyrant but he tried to be cool.
It didn't take you long for you to know you hated school.
You always loved the Smiths and you listened to The Cure,
The Jesus and the Mary Chain and Psychedelic Furs.

Freddy Krueger was your friend and so was Charlie Brown.
You loved the movie, "IT" but you always hated clowns.
I would lay there in your arms and listen to you breathe.
I'd make spooky little noises that always made you scream.

Halloween Baby... punk rock, heartbreak, jack-o-lantern girl gone crazy.
Halloween Baby... punk rock, heartbreak, jack-o-lantern girl gone crazy.

We both lived at the record store every other day.
And in my young but naieve heart I always hoped you'd stay.
But you left me anyway.

Halloween Baby... punk rock, heartbreak, jack-o-lantern girl gone crazy.
Halloween Baby... punk rock, heartbreak, jack-o-lantern girl gone crazy.


WRITE ME A LOVE LETTER

Three hundred fifty miles and the snow was over my head.
"I can't wait to see you." She said.
"I can't wait to kiss you." She said.
And I don't want to complicate your life sweet girl.
And I'm trying hard not to fall in love with you
But your easy smile and delightful lips are making this so difficult.
And if this is just a fling... a quick and over thing... please tell me now and get it over with.
Because I'm ok with anything for now. Yeah I'm ok with anything for now.
So write me a love letter! Let me know what you think! Embrace me with words... like luscious, exquisite and deep...
So write me a love letter! Let me know what you think! Embrace me with words... like luscious, exquisite and deep...
... the walls fall down... the walls come down.... I'm knockin on your door...



DRUNK DIALING

It's 3 AM or maybe it's 4, I really cannot tell anymore. I'm sprawled out on the floor of the bar, my head is gashed, my chin will be scarred.
Simply put - I'm not very well - two of my best friends carry me home. A paramedic is not what I need... I grab my phone with indecison... and I am...
Drunk dialing. Calling you. Telling you how much I miss your voice. Drunk dialing. Calling you. Wondering if you miss my voice?
It's a perfect day for sleeping in - a perfect day for rain and heartache. Three double shots of Jameson and my damaged head begins to spin.
All of my emails come back to me returned. If I could I'd love to watch them burn.. A paramedic is not what I need... I grab my phone with indecision... and I am...
Drunk dialing. Calling you. Telling you how much I miss your voice. Drunk dialing. Calling you.. Telling you how much I miss your voice!
Drunk dialing. Calling you. Telling you how much I miss your voice. Drunk dialing. Calling you.. Telling you how much I miss your voice!
(I stare at my phone and change my mind.)
I throw my phone in the bathtub with some paper and I set it all on fire! Yeah, I throw my phone in the bathtub with some paper and I set it all on fire!




ONE FOR THE LIBRARIAN

I have written song after song for the girls that I've loved...and way too many for the ones that left me crushed.
I've juxtaposed words to send... cryptic messages... lovesick and drunken - when love hits too sudden.
Here's a chord change with words that don't rhyme. Here's to cherry vodka and those TV shows about crime.. Here's everything plaid and paisley and pink... here's a song you can listen to whenever you drink...
And I am a fool, that - you've always known... I fall through your door then jump out your window... and sometimes when you're staring at me I wonder who the hell I'm supposed to be!
Here's a chord change with words that don't really rhyme. Here's to cherry vodka and those TV shows about crime.. Here's everything plaid and paisley and pink... here's a song you can listen to when you drink... this one's for you my sweet... librarian.
And late at night when I'm lying in bed, the strangest thoughts go through my head, Like "Would a catholic girl go to hell for hangin' out with me?"
Here's a chord change with words that don't really rhyme. Here's to cherry vodka and those TV shows about crime.. Here's everything plaid and paisley and pink... here's a song you can listen to when you drink... this one's for you my sweet... librarian.




FAMOUS LAST WORDS

Hold your breath darlin'... everybody loves ya.
Everybody wants ya. Come on - push and shove it.
Hold your breath darlin'... run for cover darlin'.
Cross your fingers darlin'. Hang on tight now!

It's all or nothin' girl. It's an all or nothing world. It's all or nothin' girl. It's an all or nothing world...

Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink now!)
Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink girl!)
Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink now!)
Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink girl!)

Hold your breath darlin'... everybody loves ya.
Everybody wants ya. Come on - push and shove it.
Hold your breath darlin'... this is something special.
Don't you love it darlin'? Shine your teeth with money.

It's all or nothin' girl. It's an all or nothing world. It's all or nothin' girl. It's an all or nothing world...

Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink now!)
Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink girl!)
Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink now!)
Let's hope the ship don't sink! (it's time to drink girl!)





UNLUCKY DAY

I watch you walkin' down the street.
I think you're someone I should meet.
I watch you eat your ice cream... sweet, sweet... double sweet treat.

I see you sitting at the bar.
I think you think you're so damned smart.
I watch you drink your whiskey... sweet, sweet... double sweet treat.

I hope that this is not my unlucky day!!!!

I know what time you are at work.
I go in there and try to flirt.
I watch you fix your lipstick... sweet, sweet... double sweet treat.

I know the alarm code to your house.
I am as quiet as a mouse.
I watch you while you're sleeping... sweet, sweet... double treat.

I hope that this is not my unlucky day!!!!





YOUR WHISKEY GIRL

She's your whiskey girl.... she's your whiskey girl....
I stumble around, I stumble around... with whiskey girls.
You're my whiskey girl!

She's your whiskey girl.... she's your whiskey girl....
I stumble around, I stumble around... with whiskey girls.
You're my whiskey girl!

Come on baby you could save my soul... with some whiskey and some rock and roll.
Come on darlin' you can save my soul.... with some whiskey and some rock and roll.
Hey!!!

Whiskey girl! Whiskey girl!





HANGOVER

I wake up with a gorgeous girl in my arms.
I'm not sure if this is real or if I'm dreaming still.
The night before was full of golden drinks and nervous guitars.
Sweet kisses linger on my lips and tingle like shooting stars.

It's what I always want. It's what I always crave. Another hangover from staying out and drinking late.
It's what I always want. It's what I always crave. Another hangover from staying out and drinking late.

There's a painting of elephants hanging up above her bed.
She tells me that her Grandmother, she gave her it.
This girl is different. I find myself so fascinated.
Her body next to mine makes me feel like a valentine.

It's what I always want. It's what I always crave. Another hangover from staying out and drinking late.
It's what I always want. It's what I always crave. Another hangover from staying out and drinking late.

I spend the day with her and then when it's time to leave...
We say goodbye and my heart is jumping all around.
It's a crazy thing when we actually begin to think...
Maybe she was a dream... I think she was a dream!!!

It's what I always want. It's what I always crave. Another hangover from staying out and drinking late.
It's what I always want. It's what I always crave. Another hangover from staying out and drinking late.




PENNY DREADFUL

She's an evil thing but still so dazzling.
She's a dark spot on your brain.
Somewhat monochrome.
Slightly ominous.
She's an orchard of abstract paint.
Everybody knows not to fuck with her.
She'll cut you up with a razorblade kiss.
Somewhat monochrome.
Somewhat monotone.
Somewhat monochrome and slightly ominous!

She's Penny Dreadful on the overcast days.
Penny Dreadful when you wanna run away.
Penny Dreadful on those grey May days when you're scared to walk alone!

She's a chilly thing with such pointy teeth.
She's a dark heart in your head.
Somewhat monochrome.
Dark and ominous.
She'll spit you up and feed you to her friends.

Everybody knows not to fuck with her.
She'll cut you up with a razorblade kiss.
Somewhat monotone.
Somewhat monochrome.
Somewhat monotone and slightly ominous!

She's Penny Dreadful on the overcast days.
Penny Dreadful when you wanna run away.
Penny Dreadful on those grey May days when you're scared to walk alone!

There's nothing more that I can say to her to make her happier.
She's a grey girl... yeah.





LATER TONIGHT

Later tonight when I'm drunk enough
I will call you on the phone.
Between one and two there ain't much to do
But pour my drunken heart into you.
I make things a mess and I constanly second guess
Everything I say and do.
So later tonight I'm hoping to say things right
Because darlin'... oh darlin' I need you....

I stumble and fall!
Put my fist through the wall!
The whiskey's got me down on my knees!
I stumble and fall!
Put my fist through the wall!
Because darlin' you mean everything to me!

Later tonight under the blue moonlight
I will be so drunk and alone.
I'll dance with your ghost
And I'll hold you close.
These razors in my wrists are for you!

I stumble and fall!
Put my fist through the wall!
The whiskey's got me down on my knees!
I stumble and fall!
Put my fist through the wall!
Because darlin' you are everything to me!





SHE MIGHT SAVE YOU

She's the loneliest girl in the world.
She wears pretty flower dresses with her hair all up in curls.
Spends all her money on vodka and pills.
Always uses credit cards to pay off her bills.
Feels like she's been running marathons all day.
Gives up on her dreams and she tucks her heart away...
But she might just save you! She might just save you!

She cries in the bathroom of her favorite local bar.
Gives money to the same damned church that left her with these scars.
Buys all the perfume and make-up that she can.
Leaves broken-hearted boys crushed right where she stands.
Spends all her money on vodka and pills.
Always uses credit cards to pay off her bills.
But she might just save you! She might just save you!





I USED TO BE A NICE GUY

I used to be a nice guy.
I'd buy flowers every night, chocolate all the time.
I used to be a nice guy.
I'd come home every night, kiss the little wife.
I used to be a nice guy.
I never went to the bar, I tried to be smart.
I used to be a nice guy but it never paid off, not one damned time!

So why does my heart always break?
Why do I make mistakes?
Why am I a fool?
So tell me why do I always fall for the wrong damned girl
Time and time again?

I used to be a nice guy.
I'd try fixing your car if it wasn't hard.
I used to be a nice guy.
I'd kill every single bug that crawled across the rug.
I used to be a nice guy.
I never went to the bar, I tried to be smart.
I used to be a nice guy but it never paid off, not one damned time!

So why do I always seem so lost and incomplete
When I'm alone?
Oh tell me why do I always feel so dumb and so unreal?
Oh I don't know.

I used to be a nice guy.I used to be a real good guy.
I used to be a nice guy.I used to be a real good guy.





LEGENDARY

When I met you, you were already legendary.
When I met you, you were working at a bakery.
But you were already legendary at the local Dairy Queen.

In the second round I took two on the chin.
You knocked me out with a wicked grin.
I never thought you'd be back again.... back again...

And it seems to me "forever" is never really true.
I sit around and think too much to have something to do.
The picture's out of focus but I'm pretty sure it's you.

Well I can see you sometimes.
You stroll around in my sleep.
You invade all my dreams.
And of course you take everything... everything...

And it seems to me "forever" is never really true.
I sit around and think too much to have something to do.
The picture's out of focus but I'm pretty sure it's you.

You're the legendary Dairy Queen!!! You're the legendary Dairy Queen!!!
You're the legendary Dairy Queen of my navy blue heart!!!





MY EXPLODING HEART

This is the last song I will write for you!!! Who am I kidding? Not you.

The Christmas lights are hanging and they tangle up my heart
And through the multi-colored lights I keep falling apart.
I prayed that you'd snap out of this and show me that you care.
On a shirt of mine you wore I will find your hair.

My heart is exploding! Exploding! My heart is exploding! Exploding!
My heart is exploding! Exploding! My heart is exploding! Exploding!

I always believed you should spend New Years Eve with the one that you love
But you went back home and left me alone.
You pushed me so I shoved!
You lie and you lie and you lie and you lie and tell me nothing true.
You've been with him for two fucking months.
There's no more left to prove!

My heart is exploding! Exploding! My heart is exploding! Exploding!
My heart is exploding! Exploding! My heart is exploding! Exploding!

I wrote so many songs for you...
Yeah darlin' I was a fool.
You crazy, heartless pill popper..
This is for me..not you!
You lie and you lie and you lie and you lie and tell me nothing true.
You've been with him for two fucking months.
There's no more left to prove!

My heart is exploding! Exploding! My heart is exploding! Exploding!
My heart is exploding! Exploding! My heart is exploding! Exploding!